We are all sinners. Each year, at this season we gather to cleanse our souls. It is an awesome time, Jews everywhere pour out their deepest regrets to directing their prayers to God while also attempting to make amends with the physical world.

It has always seemed odd to me that we pay so much attention to requesting forgiveness from God above, who we understand to be all forgiving, while we should be pleading our case to the person that is sitting next to us.

Liel Lebowitz in Tablet, the Jewish online magazine wrote “Judaism differentiates among different degrees of being bad—
1. Cheit, a sin performed inadvertently.
2. Avon, a sin committed under the sway of wild desire.
3. Pesha, a hardened and deliberate rebellion against God.

The first category calls for abundant compassion; the word cheit literally means “missing the mark,” suggesting that the sinner is more of an errant archer than a smooth criminal.

The third category, naturally, involves stern retribution, as rising up against the Lord isn’t something to be trifled with.

The second category is the most difficult to understand. The Rambam addresses this question in his Mishneh Torah, and it finds him in a gentle, forgiving mood: Speak softly and kindly, he counsels of anyone addressing those who’ve committed an avon; show the sinners respect, and speak so as to benefit—never to humiliate—them”.

The challenge for each of us therefore extends beyond our visits to the synagogue, praying as a community is the genesis of being forgiven. Forgiveness, surely, can be a very difficult process. Forgiveness is NOT denial, is NOT pardoning our behavior, NOT excusing your actions, such as “But it was not my fault!” Forgiveness is certainly NOT condoning what we did, as “you didn’t do anything wrong!” Forgive and learn is good approach, but forgive and forget is NOT forgiveness.

Forgiveness IS a decision do release your negative feelings, it is a response, choosing a more positive answer to a mistake. Forgiveness IS an attitude, by having a forgiving attitude, you can change your life and the lives of the people you care about most. Forgiveness IS a process; you can get started now, it can take time to heal old wounds. Forgiveness IS a skill, it is learnable, emphasize your compassionate nature. Forgiveness IS a behavior; forgiveness is the way that you think about things, being an understanding person, looking for the good in people.

Liel Lebowitz recounts “The Hasidic master’s Hasidic master, Reb Zusha, born in 1718 in Galicia, was an expert in many things, most impressively the ability to see the divine spark that burns even in the darkest transgressions…..We all mean well. We all try. We all fail. The point is to keep trying. Zusha understood that perfectly. On his deathbed, goes another story, the old rabbi sat and wept bitterly. His students, gathered around him, speculated about what could make their rabbi so despondent. “I bet he’s crying,” said one, “because he fears that when he meets God, the Almighty will tell him he was not quite as righteous as King David.” “No,” argued another, “it’s because he fears that God, when he meets him, will tell him he was not quite as holy as Moses.” Overhearing the conversation, Reb Zusha lifted his head and smiled. “The only thing that truly frightens me,” he told his students, “is to meet God and have Him tell me ‘Zusha, you have not been the best Zusha you can be.’” We should all share the same concern. Nothing else truly matters.

Forgiveness IS an emotional change, forgiveness has many facets. In our petitions and offers of forgiveness we are sure to include God, our family, our friends, our acquaintances and we must also learn to forgive our OURSELVES.

I wish you a sweet, peaceful, healthy and meaningful New Year.
Worship the Lord with Joy and Gladness.

Cantor Bruce Rockman