Prayer Lesson 71 – High Holy Day Prayers—The Thirteen Attributes

Didn’t G-d get it the first time? Do we think that if we nudge G-d enough, He’ll finally go along? Or to we just keep doing this until we drop, thereby expiating any guilt we may have with the thought that we gave at the office…I mean, the synagogue?

Actually, there is a much better answer to the question, an answer that takes us to the heart of what teshuvah, repentance, is all about. The Abudraham, a 14^th century Spanish commentator on the siddur, examined a perfect example of repetition, the above mentioned “Ad-nai, Ad-nai” which is not only repeated a zillion times, but also contains its own repetition.

The Abudraham says that the first Ad-nai is a reference to G-d’s merciful aspect. And the Talmud explains that when Ad-nai is repeated, it is as if G-d is saying: “I am the G-d of Mercy before a person sins, and I am the G-d of mercy after a person sins. If there is going to be a change, the change must be in the heart of the sinner, and not in the nature of G-d.”

So no, all this repetition is not a bunch of hocus pocus to get G-d to change His mind. It is a series of invitations for us to change our hearts.

And why is this trip necessary? As essayist Henry van Dyke wrote, “As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.” If we are separated from G-d, and we want to use the opportunity of the High Holy Days to realign ourselves and do an act of atonement/at-one-ment with G-d, we have to grapple with the bad habits that are the source of our alienation. If “new dimensions of the soul” do not emerge, our habits will not change. If they do not change, we do not change. If we do not change, nothing changes. It’s not about G-d, it’s about us—about giving ourselves repeated opportunities to dig deeper, be more honest, demand more of ourselves, until we can get back onto the path from which we have strayed during the past year (or perhaps long before that). Put another way: if people are prepared to go to a psychologist for 6 years to find themselves, standing through six kaddishes shouldn’t be such a strain if it helps to do the same thing.