Rafi Revisits the Kotel.
Looking for a Minyan?
We are all searching for understanding and inspiration; at least we aspire to this lofty goal. My experiences in Israel are special to me. Israel helps me find my spiritual center, I think that I understand myself better, thanks to my connection to Israel. July 2012 we visited the Kotel and experienced the wall’s great influence. I wrote about that experience for Hakol. I’ve decided to share that post again on my blog, which can be found with my other posts in the “cantor’s corner” or in “synagogue news” at www.bnaitikvah.org. I am re posting this piece because of its focus and I believe that rereading it helped me; maybe you’ll like it too.
This summer’s visit was different and also special. Through Rafi’s young eyes, I recognize how very difficult it is to make these special connections. Now Rafi is 10, he is still my little man…but not so little! Once again Rafi was very excited to pray at the Kotel, but it seemed to me, that this was a more complicated visit. I still saw his awe, he seemed to be secure of his place at the Kotel, but I was not sure, he was doing a lot of observing as well as praying.
One month later I asked Rafi about his experience, what he told was again enlightening. He was returning to a place of comfort with the knowledge that this is the place where he can be himself, not judged by other people. “The first time I went to the wall, I couldn’t wait, I heard so much about the Kotel, and it was great. This time I knew what to expect, it was still great but different.” Rafi continued “When you pray in shul or at camp people listen to you, and I feel judged, they say why is he praying so loud, why is he moving like that or other stuff like that?” Rafi continued, “At the Kotel you can just be yourself, people hear you and you hear them but you feel like its alright and they don’t mind what you do. One guy just walked up the wall, kissed it and walked away, that was cool, I’ll never forget that”.
Purity and honesty, as we get older, even from 7 to 10, our inhibitions and insecurities mask our feelings and desires. We all feel judged, we’re always limiting our expectations and experience because……just because.
You wouldn’t think that it would be difficult to get a minyan at the Kotel, would you? I’m sure it’s not actually difficult, except, how do you find the right minyan at the Kotel? With so many different Jewish perspectives, the minyan to the right, to your left or right in front of the Kotel, there always seems to be someone searching for number 9 and 10 at the Kotel, not unlike our daily minyan at CBT.
As we pray together this year, let’s just strive to be our best selves, no judgments from each other, and continue to be present for each other.
I thank God for Israel, my family and the Jewish people, I love you!
Dear God, Draw us Closer
Help us convert our convictions into conduct and our commitments into deeds
Help us to narrow the gap between our principles and our practices,
between our aspirations and our actions
Keep us from blaming others for our faults;
help us to heal the wounds we have thoughtlessly inflicted.
L’shana Tova Tekateivu,
May you be inscribed for a healthy, happy and meaningful New Year
Cantor Bruce Rockman